Thursday, March 18, 2010


ever heard the saying.. "Don't wait for your life to start, it already did"

lately, can't help but feel like i'm waiting for my next phase of my life to start, and from someone as impatient as me.. it sucks. some days i feel like im waiting in vain, others i feel hopeless, and most days i avoid reality and sit around aimlessly.

my options feel limited as i wait for an acceptance letter, and my heart breaks a little with every rejection letter i get. looking back, i know i could of done a lot more.. i know i shouldn't of spent more than half my college career dancing.. i know i could of applied myself better..etc. what sucks more than rejection and regret... disappointment. first the disappointment i have with myself, but the disappointment i cause. i hate disappointing my mom. i want to do this for me, but more than anything i want to do this for her.

my family, friends, and boyfriend are all a huge support and optimistic but i'm a realist. it's hard when the people you love thinks soo much of you, and you know you can't measure up.

self pity, regret, and disappointment... my new best friends

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